About my dog:
- he knows how to open drawers and doors
- he knows where the food is
- when I come home, he does look guilty while I keep standing on the doorstep, totally stunned
- he likes toast and will happily eat a whole loaf plus a whole container of lard
- he dislikes white gummibears but will gulp down some other sweet stuff complete with its packaging
- he doesn’t care for the chewing bone on his blanket though
- stuff he rips open but does not eat: cake mix, flour, baking soda, salt, pasta
- he cannot relate his actions to later puking and/or diarrhea
- secretely he wants to be Taz (to quote Wikipedia: “Taz is constantly hungry and devours everything, animate or inanimate. His efforts to find more food are always a central plot device of his cartoons.”)
- you basically cannot leave him alone because you can never tell when he’s going to behave badly and it’s not a matter of how long you’re gone
- a long walk before leaving him alone will not increase the chances of him behaving
- he knows how to turn a good day into a bad one
- I can actually hate him. Not him personally though, just what he did.
- a not correctly installed built-in fridge may prove advantageous
- luckily strained tomatoes come in sturdy packaging
- it’s always a good idea to empty the garbage before leaving the flat
- coming home is not always a happy moment
- painting your cupboards could be useless if you happen to have a dog
- experiences like these make you feel pretty much powerless
So we haven’t talked ever since I got home today. I’m not sure what to do the next time I have to leave him alone (tomorrow for two lectures)… I can’t tie him to the table, I can’t lock him into the bathroom, I most certainly can’t take him with me. Ah, great, I love stuff like that, don’t you just wish you were me… Any suggestions?
No card today, the food has gone away. Sorry.
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